i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There r osticjed everywhere
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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