Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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