i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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