Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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