Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
