I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you win again, gameday.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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