I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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