I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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