i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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