I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
