Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
