Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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