My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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