you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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