good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
