HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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