Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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