she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
