I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
