I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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