college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
only you would photoshop your dick
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
