why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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