I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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