Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
