i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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