My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
