We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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