We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
