I wish my penis had an off switch
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
