You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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