I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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