He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
