You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
