I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
