Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
