he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
this is an emotional support booty call
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
