My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
