She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
