It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
