We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
