MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize