Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
