The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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