But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
