Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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