Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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