I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
