Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
