bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
