I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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