Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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