I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
