I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
