It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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