you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
