I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
