Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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