That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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