do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
