I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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