This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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