Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
