I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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